"Girl, I'mma marry you."
“I think to myself, is there a God? And if there is, did he run out of clay?”
“I look at you and I see a stunning physical specimen. It’s like you were created in a lab full of gay scientists.”
“What, are you gonna gamble on the unknown contents of a bulky sweater? Do you know how important this is? Winter is coming!”
“I think to myself, is there a God? And if there is, did he run out of clay?”
“Your scruff, by the way, is perfect. Don’t touch your beard trimming setting.”
“You know, one of these days, could be tomorrow, I’m gonna be a millionaire. But if I don’t have Cece, what do I have?”
(Jess: "Real women are wonky.") “Perhaps. But like climate change, we pretend they don‘t exist.”
“He spells Geoff with a G, so you know he comes from money.”
“I’m not being overdramatic when I say I would rather sit naked on a hot grill than wear something off the rack.”
“I am, too, Hillary!”
“You blindfold me, spin me around and drop me into a rainstorm and I’ll still find the G-spot“
“We need to send them an envelope filled with fake blood and a note that says ‘I KNOW.’”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go water my succulents.”
“I can hear it building its sticky, deadly house that you can never leave. Building it… with its ass.”
“I want to be crazy in love. I want to be drunk in love.”
“I used to wish that you were uglier. I don’t wish that anymore.”
“If you are for one second suggesting that I don’t know how to open a musical..!”
“The point of dating is just to keep on dating and then never stop. It’s like burning fossil fuels or seeing a therapist.”
“If pot were a piano, Nick would be a 9-year-old Chinese girl.“
“I’m off to climb a mountain. I’ll see you in autumn, winter the latest.”
“I don’t want to look like a dead boy! I want to look like a living boy.”
“Desperate times call for Nick Miller.”
(to Cece’s boobs) “I saved you. I’m your Schindler.”
“Without ash to rise from, the phoenix would just be a bird getting up.”